we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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