Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
