i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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