is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just want nice things and good sex
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
