Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
