help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
