Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
