Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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