I heard we made out
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
