Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
