Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
