My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You made out with two different species that night
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
