hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
