It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
