when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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