I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
