like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We had to coat check the pizza.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
