These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
