nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
