nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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