So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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