This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
