So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize