I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think people are normalizing furries
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
