Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
