i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
