You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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