So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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