Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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