A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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