I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
