She's JV to your varsity
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
