Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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