His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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