Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
