It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
