My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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