Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
