I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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