omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
