i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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