I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
