But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
