well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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