GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
