She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
