Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
