your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
