I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is it because I queefed?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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