Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
